Realization

A realization; a moment when a light bulb goes on in your head; a moment that brings clarity from the foggy vision and everything becomes visible…. Like its always been there, staring at you; waiting for you to recognize it; sticking its tongue  out every time you failed or making a ”buzz sound” for the incorrect answer every time you came up with a vague theory. That’s life for you! But it’s been good and I have a new found respect for the wonderful realizations I have had lately.  I felt like kicking myself for not realizing it sooner but that’s the beauty of it I guess.  It’s been there, it’s the obvious and it’s the one you can’t see.  And once you see it, it’s like the most obvious thing just as the earth is round. 

Coming back to my realizations: I have had one too many lately, but better late than sorry-right! So here I am beaming in the glory of my new found insights.  It definitely puts a different spin to things, almost giving them a new definition.  It’s like I was fighting a battle for years and I came victorious. Combat & survive. All these years I have been battling within my tiny mind. A struggle that continued on forever and now I feel free; liberated. As if the shackles that had bound for years have vanished. 

Like I said before I have had a few realizations recently, all of them are probably not worth a mention. They might mean a lot to me personally but to someone else it might have no significance whatsoever. But one of the insight I had might make a difference; especially to all the strong women out there. Power to us all! We are so used to fighting our battles and being with shining armor of our will and spirit that sometimes we forget we are humans. Once we realize it; we crash, break down into million pieces, or sometimes there are times where you are tired of being strong. You want someone else to be strong for you. For once the emotionally dependence doesn’t seem like a bad thing but it hurts to know that there is no one who can understand. So here’s what I realized; once you are strong; you can’t be weak again. Let me elaborate. Once you have fought your battles and shown to the world that you can handle it; people (I use the term loosely; it could be family, friends, neighbors, anyone) cannot seem to comprehend if you act weak.  It’s not to say we can’t have weak moments but we can’t let those overshadow us. We can’t dwell on them and act needy. Even if it means being in need to have emotional support or that extra push that makes you keep going. It’s almost like another battle of might; to convince yourself, you are your lone supporter and the push has to come from within. No matter what! 

Once you eliminate that need for dependence; there is a new found rage, a new found power, a new found strength to keep going like you are unstoppable. Don’t get me wrong; it’s wonderful if we can find the support; in fact very welcomed but to almost make you so self-sufficient to know that you will not only survive but shine even if that backing is missing.

We talk about women empowerment; but forget somewhere the sacrifices she had to make to attain that power. The hurdles she had to cross, the struggles; the battles; the hardships.  It’s like letting go a part of you to achieve the other.  A learned behavior; a practiced skill, or emotional intelligence. Given some women are born with it but most have to overcome; what I consider the biggest obstacle; is to take charge of their emotions and letting the mind do the thinking, keeping the heart aside.  It is hard, to become ruthlessly practical, speak your mind, stand firm and grounded.  One also faces the fear to be judged; to be called a “BITCH”. People seem to adapt that term when they can’t handle a strong, opinionated and vocal women. She becomes a bitch, coz she knows how to voice her opinion and to be direct.

So overall being a woman can have it challenges but being a strong woman- whoa; a whole new ball game. You got to be able to think like a man, emote like a woman, act like a proper lady, look like a girl and work like a horse. Puff I am tired writing it. But add being strong to the mix and the mix would look like, fight like a warrior, stay firm like a bull, heart of a lion, patience of a hawk and grounded like a tree.  And once you have established yourself as a strong woman; there is no looking back. You can no longer be a lady with emotions. Your sensitive side should be hidden in covers, primarily because no one would understand but also there is a risk of being manipulated. 

But all said and done; it is ok. I am proud to be tagged a strong woman. I had to work hard to achieve that title and I will hold on to it regardless of what it takes.  So I end this note with a last shout out to all my fellow ladies” Believe in yourself, follow your passion, combat your fears, survive & repeat”. That’s the mantra. It has given me the push when I need it; hope it gives you the strength as well to stay STRONG!